13. Why did I start this blog?

Based on my journal entry February 17, 2015

No, it’s OK, it’s not another one of those negative ranting laments. I’m just writing about how this came about—it’s a blog about the blog.

After the shocking realisation that, in order to ‘put my book out there’, I would need an author website, and that I’d actually have to market this book, I started researching the many and varied strategies that other authors use to ensure that they establish a ‘fan base’. Some of these strategies seem to have the energy of trying to force people to take notice.

But be vigilant…… Hang on….. This doesn’t feel right. Is my initial intention being hijacked here? From simply wanting to share my story and wonder if it might resonate with even one other person, to getting all tangled up in marketing strategies and hard-sell hype. How did that happen? I do acknowledge that I will need to do some marketing, as I would like people to read it, but can I find a way that fits better with who I am? It seems to me that there’s a not-so-fine line between shrinking away and being seen.
Can I come out from under my rock and still maintain my integrity?

I know that my local newspaper the Geelong Advertiser does a great lift-out magazine called GT. It contains nothing but positive good news stories on local entrepreneurs with new businesses. I wonder if they would be interested in publicizing my book? But do I wait until I’m a ‘success’, do I wait until the official book launch? Would such a news article present me as a confident, newly published author who just clicked her fingers and reinvented herself? As you know from reading this blog, clearly that’s not who I am.

Suddenly an idea pops into my head, an approach that seems more honest to me. I could write a blog, inviting people to come with me and witness the process that occurs before the reinvention of myself – that vulnerable time of waiting and not knowing what will happen. I even sense that I may well discover a paradox about the notion of vulnerability (watch this space as my awareness develops). If people are interested in reading that story, they can decide for themselves if they might be interested in my book. That’s what I’ll do. So next step make the website, and then start the Vulnerability blog. Good-oh.

I’ve recently been aware of the need to be careful and discerning about who I expose my new venture to; not too many people at once, and definitely not to those who wouldn’t understand, or whose own fears would have them dump their dampening energy on my project. Today I’m meeting up with another friend, one who is on her own journey, so I decide to tell her, but only if it comes up in conversation. We have a wonderful talk about all sorts of things, including my recent learnings about my personal situation. When she asks me, “What now for you?” I’m able to tell her that I’m self-publishing my book, as well as my idea for the Vulnerability blog. She is so supportive and positive, and when I tell her the company I’m thinking of using for my website, she says, “Don’t be silly, I’ll do it for you. I did my own, and I love doing all that.” Another miracle.

As I’m telling her about my idea of the blog, it occurs to her to share with me a fantastic TED talk she saw. The wonderful Brene Brown.

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability?language=en

I watch it as soon as I can. Talk about affirming! Talk about Serendipity!

P.S. A ‘real-time’ note:- September 1, 2015  

The final cover design has come through! After a false start with my first concept that didn’t work at all, I had a re-think and found a beautiful image. Their designers wove their magic, and I’m thrilled with the result! If you’d like a sneak peek, have a look at my instagram feed on one of the tabs on my website.