36  Which character is running the show?

A couple of weeks ago, I had an inner urging to step out of my comfort zone and have a stall for my book and workshops at the local Queenscliff market this weekend. These inner urgings feel like my Higher Self speaking to me.    I’d love to assist people who might be ready to start looking into meditation, or do some inner work about their own soul journey. I’m interested and curious about the people I might meet and the connections I might make.   “Sounds great,” you say, but soon after, up came a range of different parts of me bubbling to the surface. I swear they are like characters in a play, all vying for the honour of “running the show” on market day.

No, this is not some disorder; simply an awareness that depending on what Level of Consciousness I’m sitting in at any one time, I will behave a certain way. It’s like when someone you know well suddenly shifts into a different gear, and you’re left wondering, “What just got INTO him or her?”  The work of David Hawkins is stunningly clear about this, and has changed my way of seeing the world. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/16098910-letting-go

Let me introduce you to some of the parts that made an appearance after the initial inner urging:-

There was a shy little hideaway person, who’d prefer to never show herself. In fact she’d like to hide under a rock!  We first met her way back in blog post #5. SHE’s the one who’s been procrastinating big-time about making contact with the organizers and reserving a site. If SHE ends up running the show on Sunday, I’m sure I’ll be all apologetic, nervous and pretty much unable to hold a conversation with anyone, let alone listen to where THEY’RE at!

Then there’s false bravado boy.  He’s the part who thinks he can protect little hideaway person by blustering through with a show of force:  “Come on, we can do this!”  If HE runs the show on Sunday, I’m pretty sure he’s not much of a one for real connection either.  Too busy keeping his cape on.

A kind of socialite can also sometimes make an appearance.  She’s a bit Over The Top with the jokey, pretend flamboyance.  Makes people laugh, but not terribly intuitive about picking up cues from what others are saying, or seeing inside for where they’re actually coming from. And yes, that’s me in the picture. (a dress up day)

          What to do with all these characters?  Well, they’re being ‘flushed up’ for a reason. It’s like this foray out of the comfort zone naturally brings out fearful or protective parts of myself that are simply NOT relaxed about this new experience.  There’s no judgement or condemnation; simply a ‘noticing’: “Oh, there you are, Little One/ Pretend Brave One/ OTT Laugh-ey One.  I see you’re fearful about trying something new.  Let me hold you while a wiser part of myself runs the show on Sunday.”

So I keep doing lots of meditation, holding an intention of raising my Level of Consciousness to one of Acceptance and Love, perhaps even Joy. If I can be more in that state on Sunday, it’s like there’s no ‘character’ at all running the show, but simply a chance to be in the flow, interested and curious about the people I might meet and the connections I might make.