5. “I just want an easy life!”
Hello again to my readers, and a warm welcome to anyone who has just joined me in my serial story, based on my journal entries from early 2015.
The next day, February 7 :-
I bet you thought it would all be hunky-dory now, and she’d be onwards and upwards.
But no. Today I’m back to a sense of melancholy, sadness, aloneness.
I don’t want to go out there in the big scary world and expose myself, leaving them all behind. They won’t understand the way I perceive life up to the age of five. No, that’s not a typo: ‘A soul’s journey up to five years old’.
Here’s the blurb that will be on the back cover:
“So a soul goes into a waiting room …” It sounds like the beginning of a joke, doesn’t it?
No, it’s not a joke, but time for the big adventure. The soul is ready to start life anew. Assisted by consultants Lee and Jo, the soul ponders the many aspects of the physical world, eventually finding the exact placement needed to evolve in this lifetime. Later the four-and-a-half year-old child finds her way into the magical corner shop, where kindly old Mrs. Mills helps her to choose the protective behaviours that will see her safely through childhood.
In Good Choice, author Barbara Cook presents a fictional representation of A Soul’s Story, based on her personal experiences. Depicted through two of the magical and heart-warming consultations at pivotal moments on this soul’s journey, it offers a view of how one’s existence evolves.
As I was saying, I just want to stay secure, enveloped in my comfortable world. After all, I’m basically a very private person. I don’t want to have to share my insights with the world. It’s too much for little me, all by myself. You can’t make me! What if I go out there and leave everyone behind and end up completely alone?!
I just want to live a simple, easy life, hopefully with a lovely partner. I just want an easy life !
(Yes, I know, all this is the voice of my inner child – yes, thanks. I noticed that.)
And yet again, “What are you thinking?! How utterly ridiculous this is. You don’t write a book! You are just your day job. Your story is weird. A fantasy story of a soul? That’s seriously weird! And anyway, no one else sees the world like you do, so just hide!” (Yes, I know, it’s the voice of my inner-child turned pretend-grown-up – yes. Thanks. I noticed that.)
So continuing my mindfulness practice, I continue to notice and observe these thoughts, remembering that they’re actually not me.
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I don’t want to go out there in the big scary world and expose myself…. I know that one Barb. Basically, I don’t want to be my authentic, empowered self and be visibly shining. Thank you for modelling courage and doing just that for us shiny soul. Love Wills xx